The Mom in the Mirror

If you ever want to become really introspective...if you ever really want to take a good look at yourself and evaluate what you see...have a child. I get that now. Children truly are our best mirrors. Good or bad, beautiful or ugly, whatever you throw out there will come back to you whether you're ready for it or not. The parenting boomerang.

When the reflection is positive, it's the most awesome thing ever. Like when I hear Owen reassure himself with "it okay, buddy" or celebrate his own accomplishments (however small) with "Poudda you!" When the shape sorter just isn't cooperating, it's really great to hear him say "keep tying." When he kisses his own boo-boos or rubs my back as I'm carrying him, it truly does make my eyes well up and it provides me an opportunity to recognize that he's giving what he's getting...it makes me feel so good.

But sometimes, what I see or hear in my child-mirror gives me pause for a different reason. Sometimes, I see things that I want to change. I hear how my words can sound when they are unfiltered...how they sound when uttered in complete innocence...how they sound through the mouth of a child.

Last week, we were having a bad run. I found my patience running very thin, Owen's energy level running very high and our usual connectedness a little off-kilter. The whine factor was dangerously elevated. We struggled on like that for a couple of days...him testing me and me feeling like my resources were spent. Did I mention the whining? At one point, we were driving in the car and crossed the railroad tracks. Owen's desire to see a "too too tain" wasn't fulfilled and he felt the need to make his disappointment very clear...about 32 times in one minute, very loudly. We then had a nonstop stream of "mo too too tain! See too too tain!" in that annoying toddler-mewling way. I breathed deeply. I clenched my teeth. I couldn't find it in me to comfort him so I just ignored it. He went on fussing for another minute or two when I noticed a break in the wailing and then heard a curt, "stop whining." He told himself to "stop whining!"

You know, I'll admit that I laughed about it when I repeated the story to Rob and again when I told the story to a few other people as well. But as I think about it, "stop whining" is just not the message I want to send. Well, actually it is the message I want to send but I think the envelope could use a bit of dressing up. If a frustrated "stop whining" is the best I can do, then I need to re-evaluate some things.

My last post about potty "assindents" is another example. I mean, let's face it. Asking a young toddler "why did you do that?" is like spitting into the wind. What's the point? It's really not respectful of either of us, the asking of such an inane question. Honestly, I worked with people at the med school--MDs and PhDs, grown men and women, renowned scholars--who would have struggled with a reasonable answer to "why did you do that?"

It's certainly not the end of the world. I mean considering what some parents resort to when the patience wears thin (which I can begin to wrap my brain around but NOT condone), my violations seem minor. Nonetheless, it's an opportunity to stop and choose again. And that's what I'll do.

Now, we just need to continue working on those substitue expletives and the awareness of thinking out loud. That way, when Rob is struggling with Owen about getting dressed and starts to show some frustration, Owen's response isn't an impatient "Goddamighty!"

Consider yourselves warned

Look, you've been reading a baby blog all this time and there's been nary a mention of poop or pee. So far, you've been lucky. But, my friends, the time has come. I can no longer spare you from the potty talk that consumes our lives in this little corner of the world. Consider yourselves warned.

Many of you know that Owen has been using the potty off and on for many months now. He is by NO MEANS potty-trained as it's not consistent and, frankly, we've done no real potty training as I've been scared to start too early or turn him off from the process altogether. There was a stint of several weeks there when he was asking to use the potty about 60-70% of the time...even in restaurants, out shopping, in the middle of playing at the park, etc. He'd ask to go and we'd go. Then, sure enough, he'd go in the potty! Now we're back to successes only a handful of times a week. In any case, we've been potty aware for a long time now.

HOWEVER, we may just need to actually formalize this process and get a move on. Why, you may ask? Well, let's just say that diaper removal is Owen's latest and greatest party trick. When it's a "clean" break that results in simply streaking through the house, it's one thing. But when the offending diaper is...uh, let's just say "full"...it's an altogether different story. One that never has a happy ending in my book.

Suffice it to say that we've had several of these incidents now. In fact, we've had enough that Owen can play out the entire exchange all on his own...a little one man show. Take, for instance, this post-nap replay from several days ago:

I go into Owen's room to get him up from his nap. As I walk through the door, he says "Pull poopy diaper."
The smell hits me.
"Pull poopy off. Puuuul."
I walk over and look down in the crib to see a big mess. My shoulders slump. I sigh. BUT, I don't even have time to say a word before Owen chimes in.
"Why-a do dat? Why-a do dat? Mess."
I halfheartedly chuckle and say "Yeah, buddy. Why did you do that? It is a mess."
AND here's the part that got me. He says...
"Assindent. Okay, buddy."

So, it WAS kinda an accident and it really WAS okay. And best of all, he knew that...he knew that I wasn't happy but I wasn't really mad either. That's great and all...but man, I am sooo not enjoying this new game. Until we can get that whole potty thing to be a regular and consistent part of life, it might just be time to consider duct tape on the diapers.

Aren't parents "grand"?

We are so lucky to have 4 sets of grandparents all relatively close and all chomping at the bit to spend time with Owen. While we've heard (and shared) the jokes about our new home being a virtual bed & breakfast with all the visitor activity (and, yes, we might just start charging a nightly rate), we couldn't be happier that so many people want to come and spend time with our family.

The recent visit from "Papa Sone" and "Kaffee" was no exception. We had a great time and Owen was pretty sure that they should just go ahead and move in with us permanently! We went to the aquarium (which, at 7 months post-opening, is still too packed to really enjoy) where Owen was on his very best "see-grandpa-I'm-a-doll" behavior for about 90% of the time. The remaining 10% was filled with behavior that would surely win Owen a walk-on role in a remake of Children of the Corn. Despite the crowds and Owen's temporary lapse in cerebral functioning, we had a nice time and followed it up with a very nice, quiet lunch.












The visit also involved plenty of holding, reading, playing and um, dressing alike...



















We visited the duck pond where Owen and Papa Stone chatted with the ducks for a bit and Owen was as charming and entertaining as ever.






































The absolute high points of the visit were the perks for Mommy and Daddy. We had 2...count them, 2...dinners out by ourselves. AND, we saw a movie in the theater for the first time in over 2 years! The last movie I saw on the big screen was...well, I have no idea what it was but I know that I was quite pregnant and uncomfortable. So, we went to the movies (and regrettably chose to see the Davinci Code...blech) and enjoyed some grown up time and remembering what it was like to be a couple again. Thanks so much to Mike & Kathy for treating us to this lovely break...we forgot how much we needed that.

Now Owen says..."come back soon!"...and we agree.

Monsters gotta eat too!

Yesterday, after his nap, Owen wanted a cookie. It was a rather big cookie and he wouldn't settle for just half of it. I gave in and away he went with the treat. Not 2 minutes later, he came back asking for "mo cookies." Knowing there was no way he downed the entire thing in that amount of time, I asked "Did Owen eat the whole cookie?" His reply? "Elmo eat hoe cookie!" Sure enough, I went in to the family room to find this.





















In a somewhat related story...this morning, we were watching Sesame Street. Cookie Monster had just finished his usual shtick of messily devouring a handful of cookies and his grand finale was a big, loud belch. Owen looked at me and said "Cookie Monster bup. Esue me." Then nodding his head, "mannuhs." Even a 22-month-old knows that just because you're a monster doesn't mean you shouldn't have good manners.

A visit from Gram and Pop

What do you get when you mix a precocious, attention-loving 21-month-old with two doting grandparents who haven't seen him since Thanksgiving? A BIG TIME! That's exactly what Owen had when Gram and Pop came to visit.

From the moment they walked through the door, Owen was glued to one or the other and made no bones about his requests to play, to read or just be held.


























We rode the "too too tain" (rapid transit) and paid a visit to Underground Atlanta for a quick lunch (though much to Gram's dismay, there are no longer fried green tomatoes to be had there). Whether he was waiting in the station and sharing a joke with Pop or feeding money into the candid photo booth with "Gam", Owen was having a ball. He so loves a good, captive audience and they came ready to be entertained.












And of course Gram & Pop arrived armed with lots of goodies for their only grandchild. One might think that "spoiling" was an Olympic sport! Out of the big toy haul, one of Owen's favorites was the new play pool. If you can splash in it, slide on it, and get in and out of it by yourself...it's a hit!












And the new "aggator tow-wuhl-wuhl" is now a must-have any time we play outside. It's the towel Owen asks for every time! Of course, I don't mind since it's the cutest thing going in backyard/pool apparel.












We had such a great visit and look forward to the next one! And, NO, Gram...we STILL won't be going to Cleveland, GA on that trip either! The"patch kids" can wait.

8:40am!

That's how late he slept this morning! A bloggable occasion to be sure. I know what you're thinking...3 weeks since her last post and the best she can do is a late morning snooze?? However, since this has become Owen's baby book, it is a noteworthy event...trust me! For the kid whose wakeup time is typically between 6-7am (with 6:30 as the norm and 5:30 not unheard of), sleeping until 8:40 seems worthy of celebration. So please, applaud along with me.

In other news, we've been busy with more visitors and Owen has been in heaven with all the attention. We were excited to host Megan (perhaps some of you know her as the better half of "Les & Megan") a couple of weeks ago as she was setting up her new classroom at a school here in Atlanta. We were even more excited when we got the call that they would be moving to the area. Can't wait for you guys to get up here.

Then, we got a much overdue visit from Gram and Pop, followed by a visit from Papa Stone & Kathy! Needless to say, we had lots of fun with everybody and there are blog posts on the way.

Aside from the visitor fun, we've just been soaking up the long summer days and enjoying plenty of time outdoors. Hope all our friends and family (near and far) are having a great summer!














This photo was taken several weeks ago as I was doing some work in the front flower beds. I had been inside the house for a couple of minutes when I heard Owen on the front stoop talking to someone...came back to find this. He had retrieved and befriended our beloved garden gnome...the two had quite a conversation.